In spite of my plenitude...


A week ago, I've read a book- ''My name is Lucy Barton''. I found the title quiet intriguing thus, it piqued my interest to perused each page. The character in the story is Lucy who is in the hospital , and  while she is on her bed narrates her story as she recall  her troubled life experiences through the people that she met since her childhood up to the present situation and the impact made of each person  to  her along with the realization and life's important lessons.

This quote from the book struck me... '' There is that constant judgement in this world: How are we going to make sure we do not feel inferior to another?''

A question which can have various answers and opinions from different individuals. An enlightenment that can make you reflect about the  reality of this world we are living in, which is in fact  hostile and only the tough and strong ones can survive. I even asked myself and contemplated on it.

In life, destructive criticisms and condescending statements are inevitable. People may tell you, '' You're not good enough, that other person is better and more competent'. Other people may say, '' You're not that talented, creative, decisive etc.'' Word is a very powerful tool. It gives us the power to express and communicate, to think, to speak, and thereby create the atmosphere and events in our lives. But as the saying goes '' With great power comes great responsibility''. Word, like a sword with two sharp edges, can move mountains and  make our dreams come true or can bring forth destruction to one's character and everything surrounds it. It can also bring freedom and set us free, or crush our confidence and shatter our  aspirations and dreams. The words that we utter can convey different messages along with our gestures, intonation, and facial expressions. The meaning of those words and how it is associated can give a deeper impact. Either good or bad.

I know someone who have gone through probably more than our share of impartiality and unfair situations. Some of his friends and colleagues will crack jokes about him, make him a laughing stock at times. Others find him weird or indifferent while there are some who consider him smart but aloof. And here is the other guy, known to be smart, witty, amicable. He gets along with other people easily and quiet popular, and he is in the road to his success. But criticisms  towards him are numerous too.  They find him smart but gullible. Ideal but ineffective and it marred his good character and reputation. Both two different individuals but still experienced the same fate, through gossips and derogatory statements by their friends, colleagues even their families and other individuals. Those harsh reactions, below-the-belt comments or opinions rang out in their minds again and again over weeks, months or even years. We will never know how affected they are, how big is the damage, or how deep is the impact to them. How these negative words, voices play in their ears. And how can they take control of these: the hurt, criticism, bad comments. These can lead to a feeling of rejection, despondence or inferiority. As what Lucy says '' We never knew, and never would know , what it would like to understand another person fully.''

''One can be ready to withstand remarks about one's past or one's clothes, but then-- a tiny remark and the soul deflates and says: Oh.''

Choice of words that comes from a person's mouth are very important to me. I always believe that each word was processed by the brain and mixed by emotions before it is spoken,and  thus I think that jokes are really half meant. But as we are living in a world full of pretensions and lies. It is for our best interest to be cautious of other people's furtiveness. If only we can put gossips to  abeyance or better replace it with unceasing encouragement and genuine compliments but it would be best to keep those unnecessary and not-so-good comments to the crevices of their mouths. If that happens, most probably this world would be a better place to live in.
How can I not ponder these words:
'' This must be the way most of us maneuver through the world, half knowing, half not, visited by memories that can't possibly true. But when I see others walking with confidence down the sidewalk, as though they are free completely from terror, I realize I don't know how others are. So much life seems speculation.''-- Elizabeth Strout

Whenever we feel the sting of rejection or disappointment. In which we are entitled to feel those emotions. Instead of allowing ourselves to feel down, devalued; losing our self confidence or letting ourselves to wallow in self-pity. We should always remember that we are God's greatest creation. You are handpicked by Him. We are valuable, His greatest masterpiece. Our family, loved ones and friends can or may  fail us but not the Lord. They can reject us but God accepts us wholeheartedly despite our flaws and shortcomings... We have to dig our heels in. We should not allow others to squelch our confidence, to squash our creativity and other talents. We may feel sometimes that life is unfair, that probably something is wrong with yourself. It is not true. We should not allow other people to steal our maximum potentials and definitely we should not allow ourselves to go through this feeling that we are not good enough. We should change our attitude to a higher altitude. We should not walk astray from the path that we are meant to take. Let us hold our heads up high and live with confidence.We should keep our attitude of faith. As the Lord says '' You are fearfully and wonderfully made.''


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  2. what a wonderful insights! deep!
    I love this book, too. Though it was short but Elizabeth Strout creates a unified story about love, complex love between a mother/daughter.
    read also Anything is Possible -- it's a follow-up novel of My Name is Lucy Burton.
    And oh that pic ... Cliffs of Moher reminds me of someone who lives in that country.
    are you based in Ireland?
    anyway, keep writing! I am following your innermost and deep thoughts =)


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